


Connecting the Dots

by find_nowhere



Category: CSI: Miami
Genre: F/F, Feelings, Femslash, Lesbian Sex, Workplace Relationship, season finale spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-26
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 18:09:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1059927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/find_nowhere/pseuds/find_nowhere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natalia goes to the firing range with Sam, they shoot guns, and everything escalates from there to feelings and murder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Puzzles

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins shortly after episode 10.10 "Long Gone" and then progresses through the end of the series, with some segments being deleted scene-esque. The story is really, really Natalia-centric. The appearances of characters other than Natalia and Sam are very minimal.
> 
> It is rated M for some brief sexytimes and language. Mostly though it's just corny and a lot of feelings.
> 
> I used to be a big fan of the show (i.e. the sheer absurdity and inaccuracies made me laugh uncontrollably for hours on end) and recently rewatched the last season. Forgive me if I fudged up details from earlier seasons - a lot happened to these gun-toting, scientist cops over the years and I don't remember all of it. Enjoy!

The MDPD crime lab was a place where puzzles were put together. DNA, GSR, fingerprints, shell casings and more were all small pieces that added up to make big pictures. Natalia Boa Vista was very much accustomed to seeing how things fit together. From deciphering forensic evidence to figuring out insane motives, Natalia thought she was good at puzzles. She couldn't figure out how she'd currently gotten from Point A to Point B in her own life though in the course of a day. In the aftermath of Point B she found herself laying alone in her bed, staring intensely at the ceiling and going over every detail leading up to where she was.

The path from Point B to her current state in her bed was simple enough. She'd fallen asleep in her bed and woken up there. Her brow was firmly knitted and there were fuzzy, early-morning shadows splayed across the floor. She could hear the water running in her shower, reminding her that she wasn't entirely alone, just alone in her bed. Her eyes narrowed and she pulled the sheet more tightly to the bare skin of her chest. She wasn't by any means unfamiliar with the treacherous terrain of sleeping with her co-workers, but this turn of events had been more than a little unexpected on several fronts and was completely taxing her brain, which was functioning on very little sleep.

Point A had been harmless enough. It started with simply talking about a pesticide on some cocaine. It had been talking about a case while at work - nothing abnormal there. The cocaine talk lead to a brief, casual conversation about firearms, which then lead to casually mentioning a trip to the firing range. Natalia was trying to be friendly since she and Samantha Owens had gotten off to a very bumpy start in the lab, to say the least. Natalia had completely lost her shit and screamed at the poor girl.

"Well, you know where to find me," Sam said after Natalia made the suggestion.

Natalia wanted to believe that she thought little of their exchange, but in reality she'd been trying to conjure up a reason to ask Sam to go with her since it happened. It turned out that she was much better at finding excuses not to, rather than excuses to do so. The younger CSI with her detective aspirations was at least vaguely intriguing and it had been a while since there was a new face in the lab. Sam had gone out of her way to impress Natalia since her initial screw up when she cooked that DNA sample. It had been a while since she got the impression that someone was trying to impress her in any way.

At the end of the week after all of their cases were wrapped up, Natalia went to find Sam. The darker-haired brunette had been exactly where she was supposed to be, finishing up a report at her desk looking bored.

"Hey," Natalia knocked lightly on the doorframe with her knuckle.

Sam looked up and her face momentarily contorted to one of dismay. "Oh, God. I didn't mess anything up, did I? I only touched, like, two samples today."

"No. No," Natalia responded quickly. "I was just wondering if you have any plans after work."

"Nothing in particular. Why?" Sam asked, seeming a bit confused and only a little more relaxed.

It crossed Natalia's mind that she was perhaps trying too hard to make up for her initial surliness. Sam had obviously forgotten about their previous conversation and was not actually interested in being pals. Everything had taken a turn for the awkward with Natalia seeming like she was some person who was eager to be buddies with her new co-worker. Natalia didn't want to seem pushy, but she felt it was too late for that now. "I wanted to know if you were up for going to the range."

"Oh!" Sam exclaimed. "I honestly didn't think you'd follow through on that. I thought you were just making conversation with me over cocaine."

"So...you wanna come?" She remained in the doorway.

"I'm totally up for it. I need to finish up some things first, but I should be out on time."

"I guess I'll let you get back to it then."

She smiled from behind her desk, "I thought I did a ton of paperwork working night shift, but I was severely mistaken."

"Everyone has to fill out their reports and logs. It's definitely not my favorite part of the job," Natalia smiled back at her and then slipped into the hallway to retreat back to her territory in the lab.

Sam watched her through the glass walls and waited until she was completely out of sight to look down at her work again. She continued smiling and looked marketedly more amused than bored as she flipped through her notes.

Natalia wrapped up the last bits of her own paperwork then hung up her lab coat and turned out all of the lights.

"Drinks tonight with everybody?" Delko asked her as he passed her in the hall. She may not have noticed him had he not touched her shoulder. There were a ton of people roaming the halls at the end of the workday on a Friday.

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to the range for a bit, but I'll come out after."

"Let Calleigh know if you see her on your way out."  
  
"Will do," Natalia said and gave him a slight wave then went on her way. None of that had been particularly indicative of how Natalia had wound up at her dreaded Point B.


	2. A Few Pieces

"Hey, sorry it took me so long." Sam had only arrived about five minutes after Natalia who was getting her eye and ear protection from a range officer. Sam put her gun case on the counter so her pistol could be inspected and she added, "I had to make sure I gave all of the correct stuff to the correct people. I don't want you to have to yell at me and tell me to quit again."

Natalie look at her and frowned, "You're not going to let me live that down, are you?"

"I mean, it was pretty shitty. I almost did quit. I filled out all of my paperwork and everything."

"Look, I'm glad you didn't. You're sort of smart and kind of funny. I'll buy you a case of ammo as a peace offering and a drink after if you want to come out. Everyone else is going out for drinks and I guess you can come to."

Sam smirked, "Sounds like my kind of a date."

Laughing, Natalia observed the handgun Sam brought, "Nice piece. SIG P220?"

"Yeah, what do you carry?" She asked, while acknowledging the man who brought her safety equipment with a nod.

"Glock 37."  
  
"Are you kidding? I didn't peg you as being able to handle a .45. You're so dainty. I thought you'd be a .40."

"Seriously? Are you just going to make fun of me this whole time?"

"I'm mostly joking. Come on, I'm totally going to out shoot you though."

Natalia rolled her eyes, "I know, I know. You won the Handgun and Rifle Competition, blah blah blah."

"I didn't realize you paid that much attention to what I said."

"Whatever. Let's go."

"You're at stations nine and ten, ladies," the man behind the counter said and Sam followed Natalia into the range.

"You need to tell me the story about how you got that hearing aid too," Sam added as she slipped on her eyewear.

...

The two were laughing when they walked out to the parking lot an hour later. Natalia felt like her way of apologizing had been fairly successful. She had fun. Sam had fun. Sam hadn't been to the range in a while since moving over to day shift. There had been ridiculous case after ridiculous case.

"I'm definitely going to have to work the range into my schedule," Sam said. "Thanks for inviting me."

"No problem. Sometimes I come in the morning."

"You want to come with me again after I totally just stomped you?"

"Not everything is a competition, Owens," Natalia said to her jovially. "You are a pretty good shot though."

"Whatever you say. I'm excellent. I emptied my entire clip into the target's chest before you got off four rounds." She paused and then asked, "Are you sure it's ok if I come out with everyone?"

"I don't see why not. I'm sure Eric and Ryan have been fighting over which one gets to ask you out first."

"No," she said with exaggerated disbelief. "I'm pretty sure the only people in the lab who like me at all are Walter and Tom."

"I guess you're ok and I'm totally serious about the guys. You should have seen them when I first showed up. They fall all over themselves in the presence of pretty girls."

"Aw, you think I'm pretty." She elbowed the older woman playfully.

"Yeah, pretty incompetent."

"Watch out or you'll have to buy me two drinks for hurting my feelings again."

Natalia shook her head and laughed lightly while getting into her car. They had been joking. That was Natalia's thing. She joked with everyone. She joked with Walter and with Ryan. She even had a few chuckles with Horatio. The job was grim, she had to joke with people when appropriate or she'd lose it. Jokes alone do not result in winding up naked and in bed with someone.

...

Natalia pulled up a chair at the table in the bar then went for another chair and Calleigh asked, "Who else is coming? H?"

"No, just Sam. I invited her."

Wolfe immediately became flustered, which Natalia noted, but said nothing about. Walter grinned and said, "I'm glad you two made up. She was totally petrified of you for a while there."

"You wouldn't know by the way she talks to me all the time. I think she's hitting on me in a third grade boy sort of way."

"No!" Ryan exclaimed into his pint of beer causing his voice to have some additional resonance, "That's...that's-"

"Hot?" Eric attempted to complete his sentence.

"Jesus, keep it in your pants," Natalia said to both of them.

Ryan cleared his throat and stared into his glass. Everyone laughed and then Walter said to Natalia, "I'm pretty sure she's just kissing your ass in case she needs a recommendation for something. Don't get me wrong, I do like Sam, but she's sort of...I don't know, career-minded?"

"I like that in a woman," Ryan mumbled.

"Are you drunk already?" Natalia asked him then rolled her eyes. She didn't wait for an answer and headed to the bar. Sam was saying hello to everyone when she came back a few minutes later. "Here," she said and extended the beer out in front of her.

Sam leaned her head to the side and said quietly, "I thought you'd bailed on me."

"Of course not. Now sit down and make friends."

Horatio showed up about forty minutes later and mainly sat quietly, watching everyone. They talked about work and how they hoped the weekend didn't produce any ridiculous murders - basic chit-chat, same old stuff they always talked about when they went out. Sam was friendly enough and talked about how she wanted to be out in the field. She laid off of her snarky harassment of Natalia.

Natalia was about to go up to the bar for her third drink when Sam grabbed her wrist and sat her back down. "I'm going out on a limb here," she said. "But do you wanna go somewhere else?"


	3. Immediately Prior to Point B

"Did you have somewhere in mind or what?" Natalia had responded to Sam with the most obvious question that occurred to her.

Sam shrugged and grinned, "I don't know."

"Are you into, like, clubbing? I'm really too old for going to a club," she laughed.

"No, it's just that...uh, it's loud and I don't really feel like I fit in..." Her grin turned into a grown. She looked sadly at Natalia and started to worry at her bottom lip.

Natalia hesitated for a few seconds, raised an eyebrow and said, "We can go to my place...if you want?"

She shrugged again and Natalia started to seriously wonder if the younger woman was actually hitting on her. Her earlier comment had mainly been in jest.

"Let me go close my tab," she hitched her thumb over her shoulder and got up. She wasn't sure why she'd suggested such a thing or why she'd even agreed to bail on her friends for the new girl in the first place.

As she rethought it while laying in her bed she realized that this was the moment that things went off the rails. Sam seemed nice enough and it may also be nice to have a quiet evening with slightly less talk about bodies and blood, she believed at the time. When she came back to the table she spoke to the group, "We're going to head out. I'll see you all on Monday."

"It was nice to, you know, see everyone outside of work," Sam said a bit shyly and got up as well.

Everyone said their farewells and Ryan muttered his into his drink and eyed them suspiciously. Walter laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. Horatio nodded to them both and watched them go without even rattling off any sort of pun.

As soon as they were away from the table, Sam said, "Wolfe barely said anything to me."

"That's how you can tell he likes you. I bet he'll get you some sort of present next."

"Should I tell him I have a boyfriend?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Well, yeah. I wouldn't make up a boyfriend just to avoid another dude."

"Then, yes. You should probably tell him. He's a nice guy. Don't let him waste his time."

She groaned, "God, this is awkward. You do it for me?"

Natalia laughed loudly then bluntly said, "No."

"Fine." She stopped and scratched the back of her head, "You want me to follow you, or..."

"Are you ok to drive?"

"Yeah, I only had that one drink. I know you're a cop, but damn."

They laughed again. Natalia was laughing a lot. She was having fun. Sam Owens was alright and there was nothing wrong with a new friend, right? Harmless.

The entire way back to her place, Natalia wondered if Sam was just taking her ass-kissing to the next level. She didn't know if she cared or not. She liked having someone new and somewhat interesting to talk to. She knew everything about everyone else and it was good to mix things up. The pretty lab tech would be a detective soon enough and they'd be out in the field together, checking things out, poking around crime scenes, dangerous stuff. She figured she may as well get to know her. It was important that everyone had each others' backs. They were a tight-knit group and they'd been through a lot together, but it was no reason to exclude the new girl.

Inside, Natalia tossed her keys onto her counter and sat her pistol and holster down next to them. She started to turn and asked, "Do you want to order some takeout or something?"

Sam was standing close behind her with both of her hands on the back of her head like a perp about to be cuffed. She shrugged. Shrugging seemed to be Sam's new thing. It was being snarky and now it was shrugging.

"You're kind of weird," Natalia scoffed. "No wonder they had you working nights. I always heard they put the super awkward people on graveyard so they interact with fewer humans."

She let her arms fall to her sides and sighed, "Thanks for not saying something about me being incompetent."

"How many times to do I have to apologize for that? You screwed up and you won't do it again, I hope."

Half-smiling, she tucked her hands into her pockets. "I don't know."

"Do you want food or not?" Natalia moved toward the refrigerator. She opened it and pulled out two bottles of beer from the bottom shelf. Sam didn't answer and took the bottle. Natalia grabbed the magnetic bottle opener from off of the front of her fridge and glared at her, attempting to prompt a response. She then said, "I think I liked you more when you were being a smart-ass or rattling off obscure facts."

Sam laughed uneasily and took a step closer.

"What are you doing?" Natalia asked her as the other girl took both the beer and the bottle opener away from her and sat them on the counter behind her. She grabbed the shorter woman's wrists and pinned them to her sides.

Before Natalia could attempt a confused protest, Sam's lips were on hers. Her back was pushed up against the edge of the counter and she found herself paralyzed. In the initial seconds of the contact she was unable to think about much more than the contact itself, the warm lips and then the tongue gently pressing on her own lower lip. When she parted her lips the other mouth became only marginally more eager. It was all cautious and sweet, not pushy, not demanding. She tasted lip gloss and a faint hint of beer. The lip gloss brought her back to some semblance of reality and she twisted her head away, managing to say, "Whoa...just, whoa. Stop."

Sam looked away and the expression on her face was not terribly unlike when Natalia had yelled at her in the lab.

"You have a boyfriend," Natalia spat out.

"That's my problem though, isn't it?" She turned back toward her slowly, sheepishly.

"I...whoa. Did I give you the, um, wrong idea at some point?"

"Yeah, when you kissed me back." She had tried to come off as her usual confident self, but her words fell a bit short and her smile was incredibly forced.

"You caught me off guard and I..." Natalia's voice trailed off and she closed her mouth so tightly her lips formed little more than a line. She exhaled and thought carefully about her words, "I'm not sure what's going on here. I'm not, um, into women." She shook her head, "You're not either. You have a boyfriend."

"Don't make excuses for me. That's seriously my problem. I can go if you want. I'm sure I've completely fucked any sort of professional relationship we had and you're going to have me fired, so I'll just go." She ran her hands through her hair and started for the door.

"Owens, wait." When the lanky brunette turned, Natalia said, "I wouldn't have you fired and you don't have to go." She winced when she completed her sentence.

"Ok, I'm confused." She shrugged yet again, "I realize you were probably just being nice."

Natalia closed her eyes and shook her head. She turned around and opened the first bottle of beer then the second. She crossed the room and handed one to Sam. "Walter said you were just sucking up, but I did get the vague impression that you were flirting with me."

"I don't know what I was doing," she frowned and then gave in and took a beer. "You seemed really cool and I just wanted you to like me. I realize that sounds really stupid, now that I said it out loud."

"Look," Natalia said firmly then took a sip of her drink. "Are you trying to get something to blackmail me or-"

"What? No!" Sam seemed genuinely offended. "Don't tell anyone. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world."

"Let me finish this drink and think for a minute."

"About firing me?"

"Relax. No one's getting fired," Natalia said and returned to the kitchen. She leaned on the counter where she had been and clenched her jaw trying to think. She ended up thinking very little, which was proven by the rapid progression of events. Sam walked to the sofa and sat down, her back to her. After a moment she asked, "So...were you flirting with me on purpose or not?"

"Yeah, I guess I was," she answered without turning around. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I don't either."

"Let's forget it happened."

"You wouldn't be the first person I, uh...from work."

"Oh, my God. Was it Horatio?" Sam turned around and her face brightened.

Natalia grimaced and then rubbed her forehead with her free hand, "No. Jesus Christ. It was Delko and I don't want to talk about that either."

"Do you want to talk about DNA analysis or something? You could tell me the hearing aid story."

This elicited some laughter from her again, "I'm glad you're back to normal."

Sam smiled at her over her shoulder, "For real though, I'm gonna go after I finish this beer."

"You don't have to. Go, that is," Natalia said so quickly that it was out of her mouth before she realized. She looked toward her feet and let her hair fall into her face. Her loose mohogany curls obscured her vision of her shoes. She had no idea what she was doing or why she was doing it. She downed the rest of her beer and sat the empty bottle next to the sink. Point B was rapidly reached after that moment.


	4. Arriving at Point B

Sam's hands ran gently down the sides of Natalia's neck and she grabbed onto the collar of her shirt, pulling her closer. Natalia kissed the other woman deeply, forgetting that she was, in fact, kissing the new girl at work. She forgot that they worked together at all and acknowledged only that she was kissing a person that was kissing her very nicely. Sam wasn't forceful, but she wasn't shy either. She knew what she wanted. Natalia was practically on top of her on the couch and rubbing her hands over every tight muscle she could reach, but she was careful to keep her hands over her clothes, still having a slight grasp of the escalating situation. She knew Sam's soft skin would alert her again that she was not kissing a man on her couch, but instead the new CSI from work. Only when one of her thumbs grazed the underwire of her bra did she remember again that it was Sam.

Natalia paused and Sam hesitated only briefly. She broke their kiss and started to say something that began with, "I-"

"Don't talk," Natalia interrupted her. "If you talk I can't pretend you're a guy, so just shut up." She pulled her mouth back to her own and dropped her hands down to Sam's bony hips.

"How many guys have you made out with that have tits and shave their legs?" Sam didn't listen.

"Shut up," Natalia said more adamantly.

Making no further protests, Sam began to unbutton Natalia's shirt beginning at the top. When the entire front was open, Natalia slid from the couch and grabbed onto Sam's belt, pulling her up. Once on her feet, Sam jerked Natalia's shirt from her shoulders and kissed her again being much more greedy than she'd been at first in the kitchen, but she was still more delicate and seemingly more aware than most men Natalia had been with. She forced the comparisons from her mind and got back to the business at hand.

She started inching backwards toward her bedroom. She stumbled and kicked off her shoes one a time then pulled away from Sam just enough to start pulling her t-shirt up. Sam quickly took the hint and helped her peel it off, leaving it on the floor in the hallway. They left a trail of clothing all the way to the bedroom door. In the doorway, Natalia found her hands battling for only a second with the clasp of Sam's bra. Once released, Sam shook the article of clothing off and Natalia froze, holding her breath. She felt panic start to rush over her. Sam unceremoniously grabbed her wrists and put her hands onto her breasts. She let out a faint gasp, but said nothing and leaned her face down to Natalia's shoulder, which she began to dot with kisses.

With her hands sandwiched between their bodies, Natalia couldn't help but feel Sam's hard nipples and otherwise silky, soft skin. It wasn't a hairy man-chest that she was touching at all. She couldn't even pretend. She didn't know what to do with her hands so she left them there and then buried her own face in Sam's neck. She took in the strange mix of smells from the sterile latex scent that clung to her from the lab to the utterly unmanly fruity smell of her hair.

When Sam's teeth caught her ear suddenly, she let out an involuntary, "Oh, God."

"You ok?" Sam stopped what she was doing and whispered.

"Don't talk, dammit," Natalia said between her teeth and the next thing she knew Sam was undoing the belt buckle of her pants. She ran her thumbs across each of Sam's nipples and felt her shiver at her touch. She looked at her body in the faint light and wasn't sure if this was some odd dream. That would have been a fine time to tell her to stop, to call off the whole thing, but she kissed her instead and felt Sam smiling against her.

Sam started to gently push her back down onto the bed, but Natalia fought with her. Sam brought her heel around behind the slightly shorter woman's ankles and then knocked her feet out from under her. With a loud laugh, Natalia went down onto her back at the end of her bed. Sam chuckled and yanked her pants off then left them on the floor, leaving her panties on for only a few more seconds. She didn't spend too much time looking over Natalia's body. She came down on top of her and began running her hands up her sides as she kissed her again. Natalia lifted her shoulders enough such that Sam slid her hands around to her back and freed her of her own black, lacy bra. This left her completely naked unless jewelry and her hearing aid counted.

Almost immediately, Sam had taken one of her perky nipples into her mouth. She circled it with her tongue, flicked it and then bit down just enough to make Natalia arch her back. Sam laughed faintly. Natalia's hands were tangled in the back of her long hair when she said quietly and surprisingly, "Fuck me before I change my mind."

Sam raised her head in disbelief, but found Natalia's neck craned back and her eyes closed. She kissed her between her breasts and up to her collar bone. She was positioned with Natalia's legs on either side of her and she ran her fingers teasingly down the other woman's thighs as she moved her kisses up her body. She again stopped and played with her ear lobe and as she did Natalia thrust herself toward her hand. She took a deep breath and held it as she slipped two fingers easily inside of her.

Natalia hadn't expected to be so easily turned on, but when Sam entered her she let out a loud moan and dug her nails into the younger woman's back. She started to move her hips and Sam quickly matched the rhythm and kissed her on the mouth again. Natalia responded hungrily and continued with her throaty moans and intermittent gasps. When she pulled away and mumbled so quickly for Sam to fuck her harder, she wasn't sure if Sam had even heard until she obliged without a word. She added a third finger and pushed as far as her knuckles would allow her to go before she curled them back with steady pulses. Natalia started to tremble and clawed more at her back.

She pressed her forehead into Sam's shoulder and forced their bodies as close together as she could. She was vaguely aware of the heat juxtaposed against cool sweat. She whispered, "Holy shit..."

Thrusting as hard as she could with Natalia's muscular legs wrapped around her waist, Sam moved harder and faster until the headboard of the bed clunked against the wall, seeming to give the other woman everything she wanted. Natalia shifted her face slightly and began sucking ravenously on her shoulder and sometimes biting a little harder than Sam liked. She still said nothing. Natalia pulled away when she felt herself beginning to come. Every part of her felt hot and tingling. She couldn't think about anything else, but she managed to fumble around until her mouth found Sam's again. She kissed her as the final wave of relief washed over her. Her legs shook uncontrollably and her fists clenched. She felt like she was melting into her bed and then she let her legs and arms fall limp as she became aware that she had just had a surprise lesbian sex ecounter with a girl from her work. When Sam removed her hand she felt empty and the only sounds she could hear were her racing heartbeat and uneven breathing. She hadn't expected any of that, much less for it to get that far.

Sam rolled over onto her side and began drawing careless circles on Natalia's stomach with her index finger. Wherever she touched left an entrancing cool trail and it took Natalia several minutes to do so much as turn her head to look at her. Sam lay with her head on her arm and looked smug. She looked at Natalia longingly and continued with the subtle motions with her hands on her skin. Natalia managed to ascertain that Sam was not even completely undressed and she found it somehow offensive. Putting aside what she believed were her final strings of sanity, Natalia rolled over and began to remedy the situation, grabbing roughly onto the top of the other woman's panties. Sam shifted onto her back and was surprised when she soon felt Natalia's thumb massaging her clit.

Natalia was fascinated by how every part of Sam seemed to be soft and smooth. She responded to every touch no matter how slight. She curiously and apprehensively touched her, assessing every intricate fold. She wasted no more time looking because she felt the same sense of panic starting to come back, realizing again that for some reason there was a beautiful girl she barely knew laying utterly naked in her bed. She moved one of her fingers into the incredibly hot and wet space. She looked only briefly at Sam's face. Sam had put her own hand over her mouth, afraid to make any sound for fear it might count as talking.

Moving her hand aside, Natalia kissed her and then said, "I don't know what I'm doing."

"Can I talk?" Sam questioned, barely audible.

"No," she said with a breathy laugh.

Sam let out and exasperated sigh, but then laughed as well, seemingly completely alright with the odd arrangement.


	5. In the Aftermath

Natalia woke up after barely having slept. Her entire body was sore and she was at first surprised to find that she wasn't alone in her bed. One of her arms was draped loosely over the other warm body that she was pressed against. She was even more surprised to see that it was Samantha Owens' back to her. She blinked, remembering the night before and realizing that it had, in fact, actually happened. It hadn't been a dream at all and here they were.

She sat up and looked away from Sam. Her sheets and comforter were bunched down at the foot of the bed and one of her pillows lie on the floor. Her bedroom door was open and the trail of clothes looked like something she'd read in a cheap romance novel. Her hair was a mess and the sun was just coming up. She reached down and grabbed the sheet, pulling it up to her neck and laying down flat on her back, feeling self-conscious. She hadn't had a night like that in a long time and didn't expect that the next time it happened it would be with a woman.

Nudging Sam with her elbow she said, "Hey, you. Wake up."

Sam mumbled something incoherent and stirred, but didn't show signs of rousing. It occurred to Natalia then how tactless it would be to kick her out at the crack of dawn. She thought maybe she should make her breakfast and then kick her out. She wasn't sure how these things worked or what this thing was that had even happened.

"Sam," she said a little louder and reached over to shake her shoulder more firmly.

"What?" The darker-haired of the two said sleepily. She rolled over onto her other side and looked over at Natalia, who was looking straight up at the ceiling.

"If you say a word about this to anyone-"

"I won't. God. Do you think I want my boyfriend to find out?"

"Are you up to something?"

"What?" She still sounded delirious and half-asleep.

"If I find out you had any sort of ulterior motives then I will rip you limb from limb and then I will actually have you fired."

She said again, "What? Maybe if you had let me talk last night I would have told you that I think you're super hot and-"

"Shut up."

"Not again," she sighed. "Can I use your shower? I think I tore a muscle in my back and I feel like I was hit by a bus. That's saying something considering I'm in great shape. You're quite a workout, Miss Boa Vista."

She winced, "Stop."

"Can I shower?" She asked again.

"Yeah. Extra towels are in the tall cabinet."

Natalia continued to lay in her bed, listening to the shower sounds. It was like she'd gone temporarily insane. Was she desperate and lonely and hadn't realized it? Had some secret need for affection turned somehow into whatever had happened? She couldn't blame the three drinks for sending her over the edge into the unfamiliar territory of sapphic pleasures. She'd had far more drinks on previous occasions and not taken Calleigh to bed. Sam was more than ten years younger than her and she felt a pang of guilt like she'd completely yet unintentionally abused her superior position in the lab to accidentally seduce the girl, who even said she had a boyfriend.

She reached up and touched her forehead, checking for a fever. Maybe she'd been poisoned by some chemical. She wanted to go back to sleep and sleep for the rest of the weekend just to avoid thinking about the series of events and the all-night bedroom galavanting. She wrinkled her nose in a disgusted and embarrassed grimace for forbidding Sam from talking the entire time. What the hell was that? She hated when dudes ran their mouths during sex, trying to be sensitive and shit. Sam actually listened, but maybe she'd taken it a step too far. Everything had gone a step too far though, hadn't it? Maybe more than just a step.

Shaking her head in disbelief at herself, Natalia then considered work on Monday. How awkward would that be? She was pretty sure she could keep it professional, but she didn't know about Sam. Someone would surely figure it out, probably Horatio with his dead-eyed X-ray vision and that blank expression full of secrets. He'd probably rattle off some sage one-liner or ridiculous pun then disappear.

The shower turned off and a few minutes later Sam emerged and began picking up all of her clothing. Natalia sat up and kept the sheet pulled up as if her body were still a mystery. She called out, "Owens, come here."

Sam was wrapped in a towel and her straight, damp hair hung down limply to the middle of her back. She looked different with no make-up on, not done up, appearances aside. She looked surprisingly plain, modest even. She picked up her bra from the doorway and looked in. She looked like a lost puppy who had been left out in the rain. Natalia wondered if she was as baffled by the turn of events as she was. She had no intention of asking though.

"Sam," Natalia corrected and tried to seem more casual and friendly. "Uh, that was fun and all..."

"But?" Sam prompted.

"I can't do that again. I'm not...it's not...I..."

Sam shook her head, "I get it. It was one time. I'd like to go to the range again with you, if that's possible. If you just want to have a work relationship, I understand."

"Don't be so understanding," Natalia groaned.

"Sorry?" She came further into the room to pick up more clothes from beside the bed.

"Don't complicate things."

"By being understanding?" Sam asked with her smile returning as she stood up by the bed.

"Just hush. No one is really that understanding, so don't bullshit. Don't expect any favors at work either and keep your mouth shut."

"I don't expect anything, I promise. I'll be good too. You can trust me."

"Shush. I barely know you."

"Firing range?"

"Yes and I wouldn't be opposed to hanging out with you...and other people...in public only."

"Why? Afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off of me?"

Natalia kept the sheet covering herself, but reached back and grabbed the nearest pillow. She swung it as hard as she could, though also feeling like she'd been hit by a bus. Eight hours of marathon lesbian sex could apparently take a toll on someone. She still managed to hit her though, about as hard as someone can hit someone else with a pillow. It connected with Sam's left side and a dull smack.

"Too soon for jokes?" Sam asked her through laughter and trying to keep the towel wrapped around her as well as keep all of her clothes under her arm.

"Jokes about what happened between us will never be appropriate."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Let yourself out," Natalia said before collapsing back down onto her mattress. She shoved the pillow under her head and resigned herself to sleeping until noon then she'd go to the gym and think as little about her lapse in judgement as possible. That was what she would consider her encounter with Sam - a lapse in judgement. It had been a while. She liked the attention. It wouldn't happen again. End of story and end of thinking about the story.


	6. The Fraternizing Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter relates to episode 10.12 "Friendly Fire."

Natalia sat behind her desk and rubbed her temples. The lab was too bright and the interrogation rooms were too bright and Miami was too bright. She'd wrapped up the interrogation that she snatched out from under Sam on the day the girl got the news that she was an official CSI detective. Delko asked Sam if she wanted to join him, but Natalia butted in. She wasn't trying to be a bitch, but she definitely felt like one after the fact. She knew Sam wanted to do more than work in the lab. Sam had also put all of the facts together and deserved the interrogation. She had been afraid though if she flip flopped on it that Sam would get the wrong idea.

She wasn't entirely sure how long she'd been sitting there and mulling over what she'd done. Her thoughts ended up shifting to whether or not she'd seemed happy enough that Sam was cleared to go out into the field. Then she wondered why she was even wondering it and that, in turn, was giving her a headache. She didn't want to be an asshole to Sam because that was somewhat what caused the transition from harmless Point A to confusing Point B.

"Oh, God. Delko yelled at me." Sam shuffled in looking red-faced and upset. She'd been conjured from thin air by Natalia thinking of her.

She looked up, trying not to let her face reveal her dismay at her presence. She asked, "What'd you do wrong?"

Sam's frown deepened, "We were called in as back-up for a bank robbery and then I made a call. He was being all over-protective and...then he yelled at me and I yelled back and accused him of not trusting me."

"Was the call you made a dumb one?"

"Maybe," she slumped forward. "Yes."

Natalia rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and said, "I'm sorry about snatching up that interrogation. I just wasn't thinking. I'm sure she would've been fine talking with you. Had you done the interrogation Delko probably wouldn't have dragged you with him as back-up."

"No," she shook her head. "It was my fault and I understood where you were coming from. I just came in here because I wanted to talk to someone. I wasn't mad at you or anything. I wasn't trying to, like, guilt trip you."

"I feel like an ass," she confessed suddenly, thinking it would make her feel better. 

"No," Sam insisted and walked around her desk. She shifted aside a few files and sat on the edge. "I'm such a screw up." She sighed loudly and added, "Now I'm in here and I feel like I'm fishing for compliments, but I swear I'm not. I just wanted to tell someone and I...picked you."

"If you were fishing for compliments you wouldn't have come to me. You should go to Ryan for that crap. I know you're a screw up. You curdled my DNA and if Delko yelled at you then I'm sure you were in the wrong." She laughed and looked up at her, tapping the end of her pencil on her desk.

"Did you mess anything up when you first started working here?"

"Oh, yeah. Definitely."

"Did everyone yell at you?"

Natalia frowned then, "No, not really. Further confirming that I'm an ass."

Sam looked pouty, still not smiling, but the normal color had come back to her face. "I'd kiss you right now if all the walls in this place weren't so...transparent."

"What'd you just say?" Natalia looked around, paranoid. There was only one lab tech in the room and he was at the far side, not remotely paying attention. That was a relief. She then looked back at Sam sternly. She'd heard her. She had heard exactly what she said.

Sam shrugged, "I don't really have an explanation for why I said that. I didn't even say it like a joke. It just came out. My 'don't say dumb shit' filter isn't working today."

Natalia eyed her with some suspicion. She'd expected a prompt apology and then for Sam to leave, but Sam was still sitting there, waiting for something. She couldn't read her and wasn't sure how to respond.

When Natalia only reacted by looking at her forbiddingly, she scoffed and said, "Sorry. Seriously though, it's all I can think about. It's all I could think about earlier too."

She rolled her chair back a little farther away and whispered, barely audible, "What do you want?"

"I don't know." She covered her face with her hands and groaned, "Do you want to go to the gym with Tom and I on Saturday?"

The sudden and so very nonchalant subject change also threw Natalia for a loop. She squinted at Sam, studying her the best she could and asked, "Two questions. One: Tom goes to the gym? Two: you go to the gym with Tom?"

"Yeah. We play tennis, but I could use a new running buddy."

"What do you..." Her voice trailed off and she cleared her throat before trying again, "What do you want from me?"

"I want to run with you. I just said that. I thought I was being clear."

Natalia sat her pencil down and looked at it saying, "The storage closet has normal walls."

"What? Oh." Sam quickly realized what she was referring to and seemed equally caught by surprise, but she jumped down from the desk, perhaps a little too excitedly.

Natalia followed her and then shut the door behind them and asked, "What are we doing?"

Sam cocked her head to the side and then put her hands lightly on Natalia's shoulders, charging the air between them. As she moved her arms slowly up and on either side of her face she said, "How about we don't talk about it and just do it?"

They stood close together, Natalia's back against the door. She closed her eyes and leaned into Sam. She didn't even kiss her back at first and just resigned herself to the increasingly bizarre situation she'd gotten herself into. Her hands drew up to Sam's waist and she finally gave in. Very soon she began feeling immense guilt because she wasn't being paid to act like a school child in the supply closet. She pulled away and made sure her shirt and jacket were straight. Sam let her go.

"We can't do this. I...I can't do this," Natalia said with a fair amount of despondency. "This didn't happen."

"I like kissing you. Is that really so awful?"

"Yes. Well...no." She quickly changed her mind, shaking her head. "You have a boyfriend."

"Why do you keep bringing up my boyfriend?"

"Because I don't want to be a dirty mistress." She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned her head back against the door. "Have you told Ryan you have a boyfriend yet?"

"No and it's not like I'm married, so you're not a dirty mistress, technically." Sam reached out and brushed Natalia's bangs from her forehead, "Should I break up with my boyfriend?"

"Jesus. I'm straight. No."

"Yeah, me too."

"Sam, please tell Ryan and don't lead him on." She grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open going back out into the bright light. "I have work to do and so do you, so cut the fraternizing."

At the end of the day, Natalia was on her way out, turning out the lights and Sam showed up yet again. She dropped a white gift box down in front of her, which elicited a look of completely lividity from Natalia. She unwaveringly said, "No, you didn't."

"Oh...oh, no. It's not for you," Sam said in a hushed voice. "Eric gave it to me, but he said Ryan got it for me and gave it to him to give to me as an apology and-"

"Tell them both you have a boyfriend and get out, Owens. I don't want any part of this."

"It's after five. We're not fraternizing, technically."

"Stop with the technical crap and get out," she said firmly and pointed toward the door.

"Don't you want to see it?"

"No. Out, Detective Owens."

One side of her mouth raised up into a smirk, "Ooh, you called me 'Detective.'"

"Good God, get out. I want to go home." Natalia said. She tried not to smile back, but couldn't stop herself. As soon as Sam left she began kicking herself over it. She didn't want to flirt with Sam and the little smile was too much. Her face gave away what was only slight amusement. Slight amusement was too much amusement. She wanted to feel zero amusement regarding Samantha Owens.


	7. Point G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first section references episode 10.14 "Last Straw" and then the second part takes place following episode 10.15 "No Good Deed."

Natalia watched from a distance as Ryan acted like Ryan, attempting to impress Sam. Earlier in the day Ryan had been frightened by a horse as well as a riding crop or so Natalia had heard. She'd gone to to the range with Sam a few times, but skipped the gym. It was more difficult for them to talk to one another while firing guns with ear protection on. She couldn't bring herself to blow off the girl completely and kept insisting that she tell Ryan she was not actually single, rather than talking about them at all. Every time it came up or nearly came up, she'd mention Sam's mystery boyfriend or Ryan. It was eating her alive. The only thing she wanted more than to talk to Sam about what was going on between them was to kiss her in the supply closet again...or even worse, on a lab station.

Sam continued being smiley and pleasant despite Natalia's continued attempts to be professional and as serious as possible. She found that there was a fine line she had to skirt between being just professional and being a huge bitch. Natalia focused on her work when she could, but always found herself thinking about Sam and then thinking about Ryan and Sam. It usually happened in the hall. She grabbed Ryan as she was running some evidence to trace and happened to pass him.

"About Sam," she started.

"Sam's pretty great and I...I think I'm going to ask her to go out for drinks with me after we close this case."

"Ryan," Natalia winced. "Sam's not that great."

"I know you two got off on the wrong foot and all, but I think she likes me." He clapped her on the back as he moved passed her and said, "Hey, I gotta go."

Natalia's head drooped and she ventured down to the other section of the lab where she knew Sam was likely to be working. What she was doing to Ryan was unfair. She was glad she didn't have Delko wrapped around her finger too because then she'd have to lay on double the humorless reprimanding about toying with the feelings of two of her closest friends.

Sam was hovering over a lab station looking pensive when Natalia strolled in. She looked down at what Sam was looking at and said, "I'm not going to stand around and watch you lead Ryan on. He's my friend and it's a shitty thing for you to do."

"I've just been nice to him," she said flatly, not looking up. "It's not my fault he takes my being nice to him as being interested in him."

"You took my being nice to you as...God, nevermind. Just quit."

"Is this really about me and Ryan or are you just using it as a front?"

Natalia made a frustrated growling noise.

Sam lifted her eyes and said, "He's going to stop by and see me at work in a few days. We're going out to dinner."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend, silly."

"Oh, well then. I guess that's one way to let Ryan down." She tried to sound pleased, but the fact that Sam's boyfriend was real made her feel a little sick.

"Are you jealous?" She asked in a sing-song voice, looking back down at the evidence she was analyzing and Natalia knew she was hiding a smirk.

"You're obnoxious, Owens. I need to take some things to trace."

"Good. I have work to do. You're fraternizing and creating workplace drama."

Sam's tone made Natalia do a double-take on her way out. She looked back to find Sam looking down a microscope. She left and continued down the hall. Sam looked up once she was gone and made a slightly sad face before looking back down. No one noticed their exchange and both were glad.

...

Turning in early for a quiet evening several nights later, Natalia had put her feet up and was enjoying a glass of wine along with some primetime medical drama reruns that almost served to get her mind off of her job and get her mind off the tangibility of Sam's real, live boyfriend. Crime-fighting got her down sometimes and when she wasn't up to her elbows with her caseload she was feeling conflicted about Sam. Just before sunset it had begun pouring outside and had continued. The sudden droning of her doorbell made her jump, but she managed not to slosh any wine out of her glass. She carried it with her to the door, flipped on the front light and looked through the peephole.

She held onto the stem of her wine glass a little tighter and not particularly sure if she should feel anger or some other emotion. She unlocked the door and opened it. Sam stood outside under the awning, not drenched, but definitely damp from the downpour. She presented Natalia with only a closed-mouth smile.

Natalia didn't greet her, but instead stepped aside to let her in out of the rain.

"Take your shoes off, Owens," were the first words out of her mouth and they didn't come out very pleasantly.

"Ok," she said quietly and followed her instructions. Natalia put her back to her and closed the door.

"What happened to your date? Wasn't it tonight? I saw Ryan sulking so I assumed you finally broke the bad news to him."

"Josh had to go...do work stuff."

"So the man has a name that you cheated on with me..." She mumbled and then quickly said, "Do you want a glass of wine?"

"Sure. I'm sorry I came over. I know you didn't want to hang out not in public and-"

"Don't worry about it. Sorry your boyfriend bailed on you. Am I supposed to say something about how you can do better than him or something?" She pulled down another glass from the cabinet and poured her a glass. "How long have you been together?"

"Two-ish years."

"Does he always bail on you in the middle of dates?"

"He's really busy."

Natalia smirked and held the second glass of wine hostage, "Look at you making up excuses for him. You must like him a little."

She shrugged and reached out for the glass, "So tell me how a cougar like you manages to not be married?"

"Please, don't ever call me a cougar again," she handed over the glass and then laughed, despite herself. Once her laughter subsided she said, "I was married. Once."

"Oh." Sam looked at her inquisitively.

Natalia sat back down and said, "I'd really rather not talk about it."

"I could just ask people at work."

"Go ahead."

Sam joined her on the couch and sat with several feet between them, "I'd rather you tell me."

"Stop pretending to be interested in me."

"You're interesting."

"Quit," Natalia snapped. "It's like you're trying to make me like you and it's really annoying. You're a shameless flirt and I have no interest in this."

"Will you listen to me for once? You let me in. You could have ignored me, you could have told me to go and I would have left, but you let me in." This new side of Sam was not smiling. Natalia nodded and she went on, "Maybe I'm shitty at reading my own feelings. You know I'm a screw up and maybe working night shift and dating this guy for two years made me incompetent in multiple facets of my life."

"You-"

"Let me finish." Sam didn't tolerate her interruption. She took a sip of the wine and said, "I was intimidated by you. You're really smart and you worked for the FBI, and long story short, because I can see you're getting impatient, I could be misconstruing my admiration of you and contorting it into physical attraction, which is throwing me off. I think you're pretty. You're stunning and it caught me off guard too. I just...I guess I like you."

"Well," Natalia said and her mind went completely blank. Was she just called stunning? She looked at Sam and sipped her own wine. She crossed her legs and made herself more closed off to feel safer, less vulnerable. She was feeling very vulnerable and she didn't like it.

"You asked what I wanted from you and the answer is that I just want to bask in your amazing presence-"

"You really are an ass-kisser."

"And you're a bitch." Sam shook her head, giving up on her gratuitous fawning.

"I'm not even very nice to you."

"You keep making excuses for me and I don't need them. I can make my own and you are nice to me. You tell me when I do well and when I fuck up. No nonsense, no bullshit - that's the nicest thing you can do for someone."

Natalia conceded, "True."

Sighing, Sam said, "So there's that. I have some sort of girl-crush on you. The end."

"That's...flattering, I guess." Natalia swirled her wine and looked down into her glass at the deep red liquid. She thought about the body of her merlot and not the words that were just expressed. She felt a strong urge to bring up Ryan. This was a new puzzle piece or maybe like a Point G in a ludicrous connect the dots. She didn't want to put it into place and didn't want to connect it to anything else. The television yammered in the background and the rain continued coming down.

Natalia looked over at Sam. She was gazing absently toward the TV. She reached across and put the woman's hair behind her ear, causing her to look up. She let her hand fall to her shoulder and left it there. Sam looked down at it and then her eyes moved back up. They were sad. She was either being honest or really good at faking it.

"I'm sorry," Natalia said.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about."


	8. Adding Labels

"Yeah, well...I'm still sorry." Natalia finished her wine and then touched Sam's cheek with her thumb. Sam had such high cheekbones and she kicked herself for noticing them. Natalia acknowledged that she was pretty, in an obvious sort of way only. She'd become slightly prettier with the new transparency that revealed some unexpected candor. She paused for a while with her hand there where she'd left it. Finally, she said, "I think you're ok."

"Gee, thanks," Sam mumbled. "I'm definitely wondering why I like you now."

Natalia took her hand away and pursed her lips for a moment before moving over closer to her on the couch and sitting her empty glass onto the coffee table. "Look, I barely want to think about what happened with us, much less talk about it. I like men, Sam."

"I'm pretty sure you liked me the other night," Sam said, very sharply. She obviously regretted her tone immediately and looked away again.

"I..." Natalia started to say something, but she didn't know what she was trying to say so she just stopped. Nothing she thought of saying seemed good enough. Nothing seemed true enough to even come close to what Sam had managed to rattle off in only a few seconds.

Slipping her hand that wasn't holding her wine into Natalia's and carefully lacing their fingers, Sam said, "I know you don't want complicated and I don't want to make you angry or...unhappy. I'm not trying to get you to date me or anything. I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, but I enjoy your company, like, just sitting here, going to the range, and everything. I think I've kept it professional enough at work, but I really like being with you, and-"

Natalia wanted to make her stop talking so badly. Sam wasn't going to stop talking until Natalia made her, so Natalia did the one thing she knew for sure that would make her shut up - she kissed her. Sam had just been out on a date with her boyfriend, she'd probably kissed him and Natalia knew that, but she didn't care. Maybe the wine had taken over her brain or maybe she liked kissing Sam too. She did. Instead of thinking too deeply about it, she wrapped her arms around Sam's neck.

Sam was the one to break the kiss. She smiled first before pulling away. She sat her wine aside and put her own arms around Natalia. She grabbed onto the back of her shirt, child-like and somehow desperately it seemed. She rested her chin on her shoulder and just hugged her in a way strangely more intimate than the kiss.

"I keep thinking about Ryan," Natalia said suddenly, still embracing her tightly.

"Seriously, if you keep saying shit like this I'll be totally over you in, like, three more minutes."

Natalia heard the hint of laughter in her voice, but still said, "No, I mean because he likes you and he can't catch a break with women and here I am making out with you on my couch. I'm violating the friend pact or something."

"It's not your fault I have a boyfriend," Sam said with another laugh and nuzzled into her neck.

"Who's bringing up your boyfriend this time, hmm?" She asked, her voice purring when Sam kissed her neck.

"Well played, Miss Boa Vista." Sam backed away enough to pick up her wine glass again and she raised the glass in a small toast. "I'll admit, it's a little harder to forget about him when I just saw him."

"Let me get this straight, Owens. If you weren't dating this Josh character, you would date Ryan?" She didn't let her answer and made the question a two-parter, "Would you still cheat on him with me? Because I would have a much harder time kissing you if your boyfriend were Ryan, rather than this faceless Josh fellow. As long as I don't know who this guy is I can forget he's a human being with feelings."

"I would at least go on a date or two with him. I wouldn't want him to be my rebound. He's nice and he's cute and even you said he was nice. You obviously wouldn't date me if I broke up with the guy, so I'd probably give him a chance, I guess."

"Josh has gone back to being nameless." Natalia got up and went to refill her glass. "What don't you just break up with 'the guy?'"

"Would that make this easier for you?"

Natalia shrugged unsurely for once.

She rephrased, "If I were single, would you be more open to hooking up?"

"Don't call it hooking up," she groaned as she uncorked the bottle again.

"What do you want to call it?"

"Nothing because I don't want to talk about it. If we don't label anything then I don't feel compelled to classify it and then it doesn't ruin my life."

Sam chuckled, "There you go again, saying incredibly kind things to me."

"Tell me about your boyfriend. I'm sensing there's some sort of riveting story there. He ditched you on a date and you don't even care."

"He promised he's going to be around more soon. I don't want to be a drama queen and throw a fit because he has to work. He was patient with me when I was working nights."

"What does he do?"

"Nothing interesting," she said. "Are you trying to give my faceless boyfriend a face so you can better justify not..." She paused for a moment to think then went on, "Justify not doing whatever we're doing with no label?"

Natalia remained in the kitchen, looking out of the window above her sink at the rain. She rapped her fingers on the counter. She wasn't sure what the answer was, but she was leaning toward Sam's assessment being correct. She finally responded with, "Maybe."

"Come sit back down and tell me how you became a CSI."

"That's a fun story and I suppose it's one I'll tell," she gave in. "If you're really interested."

"I am."

"No ulterior motives?"

"None, except maybe going to bed with you."

"More wine?"

Sam didn't immediately answer the final question. "Um, maybe I shouldn't."

"You can stay. It's not like we haven't already...you know." Natalia brought the bottle over and sat next to her, topping off her glass and saying, "Just don't tell anyone at work."

"I know, I know. Plus sneaking around is kind of exciting."

"I really don't need more excitement in my life. I get enough on the job."

"We could stop sneaking," Sam suggested with a casual shrug.

Natalia turned slowly and her eyes narrowed.

Sam very quickly retracted, "I'm joking. I can't break up with Josh."

She laughed and started telling her about how she came to work in the MDPD crime lab. She sensed there was some sort of potentially interesting tale involving Sam and her mysterious Josh. She hadn't seen him when he came by. She'd ask Ryan in a way that wouldn't make it seem like she cared. Her initial thought was that he was abusive, which tugged at her empathetic side a bit. She didn't want to jump to conclusions though until she had facts.


	9. Gathering Evidence

"Ryan, hey..." Natalia tapped on his desk and he looked up quizzically. "I'm sorry Sam has a boyfriend. You really have the worst luck with the ladies."

"Yeah, you heard, huh?"

She nodded.

"I should have known. There was no way someone as amazing as her would be single." He put his elbows on his desk and rested his head in his hands. "I don't suppose you're interested in a sympathy date with me."

"Um, no."

He frowned and said, "She wears the bracelet I got her. Talk about mixed signals."

"The bracelet you got her that you gave to Eric that he gave her?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"There are no secrets here, you know that." She crossed her arms, "So who is this boyfriend of hers?"

"It's Assistant State Attorney Josh Avery. How can I compete with that? He's all manly and eloquent and makes more money than I do."

"Sorry, Ryan. Really. There's more fish in the sea. I'm sure you'll fall head over heels for some other girl next week." Obtaining the piece of information she wanted, she started to leave.

"Are you and her friends? Could you put in a word for me or consider sabotaging her relationship or something?"

She shook her head and instead of going back to start doing her own work she felt compelled to find Sam. She was in the locker room putting on her lab coat and getting ready to start her day. "Owens, I need to talk to you," Natalia said and motioned with her index finger for her to come over. "Now."

Sam's face drooped and she followed the other woman behind a row of lockers. She immediately apologized, "I'm sorry. I don't know how I messed anything up this early. I haven't even touched anything yet except my coat."

Natalia grabbed her wrist, adorned by the silver bracelet, and she held it up between them, "Is this what Ryan gave you? You're wearing it?"

"I...didn't realize that was...wrong?" She said unsurely and pulled her arm back, rubbing her wrist where Natalia assertively grabbed it.

"You've been leading him on and you wore it out on your date with your boyfriend-"

"It's not like he notices my bracelets," she said defensively.

"And you were wearing it when..." Natalia lowered her voice and said between her teeth, seething. "You wore it when we were...doing...stuff."

"Which part are you more mad about?" Sam tried to joke and lighten the mood.

Natalia continued to glare at her and said, "I'm mad that you're completely insensitive. Are you playing all of us?"

"I'm not playing anyone...at least I'm not meaning to," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I've told you before that sorry doesn't cut it."

"I'll take it off. Please don't be mad. I didn't want to hurt his feelings by not wearing it. I just want people to like me and I'm sorry," she started to fumble with the clasp and continued apologizing with her voice cracking. "I'll take it off if you want. I'll even give it back."

Natalia slammed her fist into the lockers by the wall and shoved Sam roughly into the corner. Her boyfriend had a name and she still couldn't bring herself to care as much as she thought she should. She was mad at herself for not caring. She was even madder that she couldn't seem to stop herself on account of Ryan. She silenced Sam's string of apologies quickly. Sam finally managed to undo the clasp of the bracelet and it clattered to the tile at their feet almost as soon as Natalia's lips touched hers. It was early, but everyone would be trickling in soon enough. This wasn't the time nor the place.

She found herself justifying her actions more so than trying to conjure excuses to stop. She felt Sam's heart pounding against her chest, but maybe it was her own heart. Her fingers were tangled in her hair and this time she tasted like lip gloss and coffee. Sam's hands were on her waist pulling her closer, not stopping either. Natalia deepened the kiss and pressed her thigh firmly between Sam's legs and caused the other woman to whimper. She adjusted her leg, moving it a little higher, completely losing all sense of where she was, thinking only about the sparks between them and how responsive Sam always was to every single one of her touches.

Sam brought her back around, pushing her gently away and saying quietly, "Stop, Nat. Someone's going to catch us."

Natalia backed away and ran her hand through her hair as Sam began straightening out her coat, breathing heavily. As Sam sorted herself out, Natalia bent down and picked up the bracelet. She handed it back and said, "I'm sorry. I'm really the one that should be sorry. God. What the fuck is my problem?"

"Raincheck?" Sam asked her sweetly and reached out, adjusting Natalia's bangs on her forehead that had gotten out of place during the encounter.

"Yeah, um, not at work. Tonight?"

Sam winced, "I have plans with...but I can cancel."

"No, no, no. Don't cancel anything on account of me," Natalia shook her head adamantly and started to back away, feeling exceptionally flustered. Her cheeks were burning and she didn't know what anyone would think of they saw her. She was trying to confabulate a story, but nothing at all was coming to mind.

"I got you a cup of coffee if you want it," Sam called after her quickly. "I put it on your desk for you...as a surprise."

Natalia stopped in her tracks and turned, "You know you're not supposed to have drinks around the lab equipment."

"I know, but I..."

"Never bring coffee into the lab again, Owens," she left briskly without another word.

"I guess I am capable of screwing stuff up first thing in the morning," Sam muttered to herself.

...

When Sam arrived agan unannounced that evening she pushed straight past Natalia and into the hall. Her eyes were wide and she began speaking frantically before Natalia even closed the door and could ask her what her problem was. "Tell me to break up with Josh. If you tell me to, I'll listen to you, so just tell me to do it."

"I'm still not going to date you, you know that, right?" Natalia asked her somberly as she locked the door.

"I know, I don't care. I need someone to tell me what to do."

"I'm not going to be responsible for your decisions, Sam," she said with the same tone. She had checked out Josh Avery. He was a young ASA who didn't take on cases he didn't think he couldn't win, so he had a solid conviction rate, but he set no precidents and was otherwise uninteresting. "Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"No." Sam embraced her.

"Ok," Natalia said, hugging her back. She moved her hair aside and kissed her neck. "I can't in good conscience tell you to break up with your boyfriend then." She kissed her neck again, "Did he hurt you? I've seen you naked and-"

"This is really not a chat we should have while you're kissing my neck, but no, he's not. It's complicated."

"Is he cheating on you?" She kissed her again. "Because it would be kind of funny if you're upset about that."

"I don't think so. Now, would you stop talking if you're not going to say anything helpful."

"If you want to break up with your boyfriend then break up with your boyfriend. It makes no difference to me really." It did though. A little.

"I can't break up with him. If I do then you..."

"Then I what, Sam?"

"You wouldn't like me anymore," she said geniune sadness.

"Maybe I'd like you more," Natalia purred.

Sam laughed suddenly, "Maybe, huh?"

"Maybe," Natalia said and kissed her collarbone. "Thanks for the coffee, by the way. If you bring coffee anywhere near the lab equipment again I'll kill you."

"What about Ryan?" Sam asked her, slightly more relaxed. She offhandedly toyed with Natalia's hair as the woman pulled down the collar of her shirt and kissed her sternum. "If I break up with Josh and then leave Ryan high and dry it'll hurt his feelings."

"Don't start making plans just because I said a vague maybe that I said maybe and don't mention Ryan unless you want me to feel guilty." She began unbottoning her shirt and kissing her lower and lower as she moved downward. "I like you. Maybe. The coffee shifted the odds in your favor. Don't get too excited though." She said between little kisses.

"I don't know if I'd want to actually date you anyway. Workplace drama and all," she laughed again become less tense almost all at once.

"Dating someone you work with is totally the worst."

"What if I-"

Natalia pinched her sides, hard. "Don't you dare say something stupid about quitting if I wanted you to. I'd never tell you to do something that idiotic."


	10. Not a Pretty Picture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up toward the end of 10.18 "Law and Disorder."

An intensely huge knot formed very quickly in Natalia's stomach after watching the news brief. Her mouth went dry and her throat tightened. If her throat hadn't tightened she may have thrown up on the floor in front of everyone. Mishandling evidence? No one knew what to say and no one knew what to do. Horatio was lurking at the top of the stairs, silently. She glimpsed him before he vanished. Their case crumbled and all of their recent cases crumbled. Everything Sam had touched was now useless shit. Delko was accused of compromising evidence and Sam? What the fuck did she do?

Natalia had been taking care of some other details, but Ryan was with Sam in the lab the entire time she was analyzing the shell casings. How did she fuck up so royally? From Natalia's perspective everything had been by the book. Did Ryan get careless because he liked the dumb girl and somehow let her screw up worse than she'd ever managed to screw up before?

Sam had been so proud for pistol-whipping the assassin and helping out Frank. She'd found Natalia as soon as she got back and rambled about how the assassin took apart Frank's gun while it was in his hand. They'd stolen a quick kiss in the supply closet that left Natalia wanting more, but they had too much to do. At the moment, Natalia couldn't imagine Sam sinking the case by intentionally tampering with evidence. On accident, maybe. It didn't make sense though. Nothing made sense. All Natalia wanted to do was curl up somewhere dark and die. 

She had pulled the five shell casings from the asphalt herself. They were all .9 millimeters. There was no .45. Where had a .45 come from? How the hell would someone who knew as much about guns as Sam not realize that one of those casings was not like the others? How the hell could she cross contaminate anything like that and not realize it? Unless she swapped the casings out herself, unless she did it intentionally to make it look like cross contamination - and there it was. Something extremely unpleasant rearing its ugly head, some little trace of doubt, a tiny burning suspicion. It was little more than a mote because she was trained to look at everything from different angles. Natalia quickly backtracked in her mind back to the fact that Ryan was there. Again, how the hell did it get past Ryan? Neither cross contamination nor tampering of any sort should have gotten by Ryan.

Delko had been completely hustled with the idiotic loss of sight of his evidence at the scene. How could that happen in the lab though? In the lab everything was controlled and monitored...

Natalia looked around the room. Where the hell was Sam anyway? Almost everyone was there, huddled around the television looking at Vogel and his press conference. The broadcast ended and Natalia snapped into action. She snaked between people and grabbed onto Ryan's elbow. He looked devastated.

"Was anyone else in the lab with you and Sam?" She asked him quickly and quietly.

"Um, lab techs, analysts..." His eyes narrowed and he looked at her, "Avery."

"Sam's boyfriend?" She didn't know why she felt the need to confirm. There was no other Avery.

"Yeah. He was assigned to the case." A knowing spark flashed in his eyes. "I'll talk to her."

"Let me talk to her, Ryan," Natalia said quickly.

"No. I was there. I'll talk to her. I can get her out of this. I should be in hot water with her too anyway."

"Ryan, don't try to protect her," she said, but he was already moving away from her and quickly. He wasn't going to listen. "Ryan, think about what you're doing." She followed him and continued trying to stop him, but he wasn't hearing it. "She'll listen to me, Ryan. Please, let me talk to her first."

Natalia followed him as he returned to where he'd last seen her. She wasn't there. He started looking over everything in the trace lab where the incident went down, poking around. Natalia hung back and watched him from a distance, thinking...trying to think. Sam slipped in, they talked, they hugged. Sam should have been more upset, more surprised, more confused, more everything, but she just looked like she'd already packed it all in and given up. They hugged for too long and Natalia felt her eye twitch, watching them, wondering what they were saying. She put her hands on her hips and waited. They talked some more and Natalia began pacing in the hall. She didn't like how she felt.

"Oh, my God. There you are," Sam said from behind her as she was making her way back in the opposite direction. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Turning, she snapped, "No, you weren't. You've been talking to Ryan for half an hour."

"I was...I...I went to find you right after Vogel...with the picture. I wanted to find you before the news. I was..." She simply stopped talking, seeing Natalia's face, which was firm and not pleased at all.

Natalia looked at her with no sympathy and clenched her jaw. "What did you do, Sam?"

Sam just shook her head. The were standing in the middle of the hallway and people were walking around, seemingly paying little attention to them. Sam was very much aware of everyone's eyes on her as they passed though.

"What did you do, Sam?" Natalia asked her again, angrily.

"Can we not do this here?"

"Do what? If you didn't do anything then say it."

"Why are you mad? I'm who's about to be fired."

Natalia didn't know why she was mad or if mad was even what she was feeling. Disappointed was closer to how she felt. Disappointed and somehow jealous. She could no longer shake the burning thought that Sam had been up to something the entire time she'd worked there. It chewed at the edge of everything in her mind and she started to feel like she'd been played in more ways than one. She knew about ulterior motives. After all, she'd been undercover when she first came to work at the crime lab. She wasn't who she said she was and she was starting to think that Sam wasn't either. Was she out to ruin the credibility of the lab?

"I don't like being lied to," was all she managed to say and then it was her turn to shake her head. She walked away. She needed a drink.


	11. Only A Few Missing Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10.19 "Habeas Corpse."
> 
> And seriously? Sam kills her boyfriend and doesn't change out of her white pants that miraculously did not get single drop of blood on them? Well done. Never a dull moment in Miami.

And drink Natalia did. Several midori sours and some whisky to top it off. She, Eric, Ryan and Walter went out after work and stayed at the bar until dark. A few hours in, everything pointed to Sam being involved, everything. At least that was the case in Natalia's head. She had inside information that she didn't think pertinent to share - Sam wanting to, but not wanting to break up with Avery, her shadiness when discussing him. She was in on it and she used Natalia. She used her and she used Ryan to create allies who would save her when shit got down to the line. Natalia didn't know what Sam's motives were yet or what her endgame was, but the mistrust had eaten away at all of the other feelings she felt toward her. She leaned on the clear counter top that the four of them were occupying and kept her mouth shut for as long as she could. She couldn't hold it in forever and soon all of the doubt and blame started spilling out. If she didn't talk about how much she disliked Sam she was afraid she was going to spew out that she was in love with her or something equally laughable.

As Natalia was running her mouth, blaming Sam and completely removing all blame from Ryan, Sam showed up. She had perfect timing for catching the end of Natalia's rambling. Whatever she'd intended to say to her colleagues never happened.

"Excuse me?" She said instead, coming up on the conversation. Everyone turned and Natalia halted her churning tangent. "No, continue. At least say it to my face," she spoke directly to Natalia, no one else. She didn't seem interested in anyone else at all. "What? You're saying I'm dirty?"

Natalia propped herself up and held what was left of her drink in one hand. As emotionlessly as she could muster, she spat out, "I said what I wanted to say. At the very least, you have really bad taste in men."

It rubbed Ryan wrong. He bailed a second later, mumbling something to Delko while Natalia stood there, pleased with herself. Pleased that she hated Sam, or at least did on the outside in front of everyone else.

"Bitch," Sam said very plainly before turning and walking away after Ryan. She could have said something else. She could have said a lot of things.

Ryan couldn't tell that he was being used. He wouldn't believe it even though it was right in front of him. He was so smitten with her and all she'd done was worn a bracelet he gave her and been nice to him. Maybe she did more. Who knows? Maybe she went to Natalia's on Wednesdays and Fridays then Ryan's on Sundays and Tuesdays.

"What was that about?" Eric asked her and she glared and watched Sam disappear into the crowd.

"What was what about?"

"That. With you and Sam. People are supposed to be innocent until they're proven guilty. Whatever happened...if Avery was working alone, it happened on Ryan's watch too. It's not all on Owens."

"She played us, Eric. Don't pretend you're as in love with her as Ryan and refuse to see it." She downed her drank and clanked the empty glass down in front of her.

"No..." He said and looked at her warily. "Are you ok, Nat?"

"Whoa. Whoa. You're taking this real personally, BV." Walter said to her and looked over her at Delko, who shrugged.

She saw their exchange, but couldn't be bothered. She mumbled, "She used us and I need another drink."

"Natalia," Delko called after her, but she didn't turn back. She couldn't because she felt tears welling up and she didn't want to have to explain them.

Only then did it occur to her that Sam could have outed their secret then and there. She didn't though, even though Natalia left the door wide open for her to do it. She paid her tab and then rushed outside. Sam was standing out in the parking lot in that idiotic, glaring orange shirt, watching Ryan drive away. It at least made her easy to find.

"Owens," she said from just outside of the doors.

She turned as Natalia was stumbling toward her and she said, "What the fuck do you want? I need to go. Ryan's-"

Natalia essentially collapsed into her, cutting her off, and saying, "I think I'm in love with you, so please tell me you didn't intentionally fuck with evidence in the lab. Tell me it was all your stupid, lawyer boyfriend."

"Jesus Christ. I'll take you home. Come on," she looped her arm under Natalia's and started toward her car. She dumped Natalia onto her couch and then left in a hurry, not saying where she was going.

Natalia stayed on the couch, half-crying and half-laughing, feeling like an idiot. She kicked off her shoes and stared at the TV, maybe falling asleep for a few hours, maybe a few minutes. Sam came back at some point that night. Natalia didn't know when. She woke up in bed with Sam curled up on her chest, fully clothed in that same orange shirt and her white pants from the day before. She kissed her on the cheek and went to take a shower. Sam was gone when she come back out. Shortly after that she got the call about Ryan and about Josh Avery being dead.

It took a few minutes to register - Sam's boyfriend was dead and Ryan was the prime suspect. Natalia was mad again or sorely disappointed, whichever. She was disappointed on Ryan's behalf this time and less her own. She never got her answer from Sam and the mistrust was there in her mind just as strong as it had been.

All of her doubts came creeping back, overshadowing the reality of her drunken confession that so promptly followed the needlessly jealous blow she'd dealt Sam. They stood side-by-side watching Ryan be processed. It was disgusting. Natalia wanted to hold Sam's hand, which also disgusted her. What was most disgusting was that Natalia might have killed Josh too if Sam had said the right words at the right time. Maybe. Natalia drove her thoughts away from that realization and told herself that Ryan wasn't her. She couldn't believe it even occurred to her that Ryan might have killed Avery. He said he didn't, so it meant that he didn't. Sam's arms were crossed and she was wearing the bracelet, she talked about things spiraling out of control, how she tried to stop Ryan, but he wouldn't listen. Of course he wouldn't listen because she'd made him fall in love with her. Sam didn't seem to care that Ryan was being treated like a perp. All of the truth and honesty Natalia had glimpsed before were gone. She really didn't care that her boyfriend was dead or that Ryan was being treated like run-of-the-mill scum.

Instead of holding her hand and telling her that everything would be ok, Natalia blamed her for everything again and also took it upon herself to point out that the one person who could testify against Sam for tampering with evidence was dead. She practically accused her of doing it. She looked over at Sam when she said it and her face twisted, but she didn't validate Natalia with a response. Her lack of a reaction, coupled with the slew of other thoughts Natalia was having started to form a distinct lump in her throat. Her eyes were starting to burn and her voice cracked as she made one final snap at Sam on Ryan's behalf and walked away. She couldn't watch Ryan be treated like that and she couldn't stand next to Sam anymore.

Halfway down the hall she wanted to turn around, go back and apologize, but she didn't. Ryan was cleared quickly enough, but Natalia still couldn't bring herself to say anything to Sam - kind or otherwise. Puzzle pieces began emerging, connecting all sorts of people in odd ways, but they weren't falling into place to shed light on what was happening with Vogel and everyone else. The hours ticked by and everyone found out that Sam bugged Avery's phone, but she never went home the night before to get the flash drive. Natalia could have said something, said she was with her, but there was that period of time when she wasn't plus Natalia had been shitfaced. Horatio took Sam off of the case. It was an obvious conflict of interest situation with her dead boyfriend and all, but Ryan said she packed her things from her locker and left.

It also travelled through the MDPD grapevine that Sam did manage to get an incriminating conversation with her bug, but it was illegally obtained, so it was fucking useless just like everything else Sam had ever done. Ryan wouldn't give up on her. Natalia had and she'd given up awfully early. When she got the text from Sam with the slip number of Avery's enigmatic boat, she couldn't bring herself to respond with more than an 'okay.' Frank arrived shortly afterward with the warrant. Part of her wanted to find something to sink Avery even though he was lying dead in the morgue. Part of her wanted Sam to be cleared, but part of her didn't because she didn't want to apologize for her outrageous behavior. She wanted to be like Ryan and believe everything was on Avery, but there was no way.

When the shooting started at the marina, she didn't even bother to check on the man who was shot. A few minutes later she had killed the man doing the shooting from Avery's boat and found that Avery's boat was loaded with meth. Forty kilograms of meth were stashed on the attorney's boat that he apparently refused to take Sam out on. She was calm and collected, handling everything on autopilot. If she had a boat, she would have taken Sam out, sure. She shook away the pointless thought and then wondered if Sam actually knew about the meth on the boat. Again, Avery was dead, so no one could get his side of the story.

She retreated to a back corner of the lab where she stared at her phone, trying to figure out what to do. She didn't even know if there was anything to do. She didn't know why it was so hard. She didn't even know what exactly was so hard. There was too much going on. She knew she should focus on the case and forget Sam, at least forget her in any way that wasn't directly related to the case. Sam was connected to the case by proxy, so Natalia couldn't completely get away from thoughts of her.


	12. Done

The day was an absolute whirlwind. It felt like only minutes before the discovery was made that the meth in lockup wasn't meth and the meth that was supposed to be in lock-up was the meth on Avery's boat. Before she even found out the kicker, Natalia knew in her gut what came next. Her stomach did a backflip and bile started boiling up. All of her mistrust was validated and she felt a bittersweet satisfaction that Sam was who logged the meth. Her contorted hatred was all justified in that moment. Ryan still hadn't given up though, even as all of the pieces were starting to fall into place and the picture was coming together. Sam and Avery were both in a plot with Vogel.

Then Sam was missing.

"That little cunt is running..." Natalia said to Walter with only loathing.

He looked at her a little taken aback and said, "I'm having a really hard time imagining Sam being part of this, BV." He shook his head, "I can't wrap my mind around it."

"Why not? She's apparently been pulling a long con. She manipulated all of us and it's completely fucking clear now. Avery was selling drugs stole from lockup and splitting the profits with Vogel. Sam got the drugs. End of discussion."

"Natalia..." He reached out to touch her shoulder and she shied away. "It's Sam though. There has to be a reason."

"She's running now because she's guilty. She knew the game was up. Fucking predictable."

Walter rubbed the back of his head and with apprehension, he asked, "Why are you so angry?"

"I don't like being screwed around with."

"Come on. There has to be an explanation. I've known Sam for-"

"Sometimes people aren't who they seem to be, Walter. You need to learn that and so does Ryan."

Walter dropped it and the next news Natalia heard was that Eddie Coster had kidnapped Sam and hijacked Vogel's car with Vogel in it. There was a chase and Sam drove Vogel's sedan off of an overpass. Her initial reaction wasn't one she liked. She again felt a huge wave of regret and she felt doubts about her doubts. Soon the regret turned into a forced apathy. She asked about Sam's condition and left it at that, maintaining a stony facade about it.

Ryan, still enamored with her, had gone to the scene. He'd taken her shoes because she was such a sweet guy and she'd broken her ankle. He found a tiny shard of glass. Occam's razor connected all of the dots in Natalia's mind and formed a perferctly succinct, straight line. Sam was guilty of one thing or another, but how guilty and what all she was guilty of remained in the air. Word of the glass reached Natalia and she tailed Ryan when he went to the hospital.

Natalia lurked down the hall from Sam's room. Ryan was talking to her. Ryan wanted to talk to her, just like he wanted to talk to her about Avery possibly swapping the shell casings. He had matched the glass in her shoe to the wine bottle that killed her boyfriend. She was the killer. She'd left Ryan there to take the fall, but he still wasn't angry. Natalia was mad enough for the both of them, she figured, as she waited for him to say his words to her, whatever they were, Mirandize her and then get out of her way.

She waited until she saw Ryan leaving, all weepy eyed. She ducked around a corner, unseen and let him pass. She waited a few more minutes to get up the nerve to go into the room. All of her anger flaked away when she saw Sam crying and covered in cuts and bruises. She was cuffed to the bed as if she could go somewhere in her condition. She had no flowers and no cards. Her family wasn't even there.

"Look at you," Natalia said mildly from the door. Sam looked up at the sound of her voice and then looked away quickly. She walked over and pulled up a chair next to the bed. Ryan had followed procedure, read her her rights and cuffed her, just in case. They'd probably also throw an officer up outside of her door too. 

"Go on. Yell at me, Nat." She said and looked at her glumly, eyes bloodshot, and cheeks wet and shining.

"I'm not going to yell, not in a hospital. I wasn't going to yell anyway. Well, I was...but now I'm not."

"Don't feel sorry for me. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it, right?" She turned her face away again. "Turns out it's a fucking hospital bed and I'm handcuffed to it and can't even get up to pee without permission."

"Sam, tell me what you did. Tell me from start to finish. I'll believe you. I'll believe whatever you tell me."

"I can't talk to you. You're a cop. I've been Mirandized. You shouldn't even be in here." She started fiddling with the clasp of the bracelet suddenly, trying to get it off in a frantic rush. She had enough trouble getting the bracelet off when she wasn't cuffed to a hospital bed.

Natalia sighed and took her badge off of her belt. She sat it on the table next to Sam's bed and then reached over to help her with the bracelet. "I'm not a cop right now. I'm your friend, which is what I should have been before, I think." She took off her bracelet and then asked, "What do you want to do with this?"

She shrugged, "Ryan hates me, so I don't need to worry about hurting his feelings anymore. I think I hurt them pretty fucking well."

"You ok?"

"I killed my boyfriend, I drove off of an overpass and I'm going to prison. I ruined the reputation of the crime lab and everyone hates me, so I have to say that I've been better. I probably should have let Coster take me to Everglades to kill me, but I didn't want to die at the time."

"I don't hate you."

"Bullshit. Ryan's, like, your best friend and I left him there on the floor because I'm a coward. I got Estaban Navarro released because I fucked up. I ruined everything and you do hate me, so just go."

"Did you tell Ryan everything?" Natalia leaned over the railing of the bed and placed her hand comfortingly on Sam's wrist.

"I told him enough."

"Did you switch the shell casings?"

Sam smiled and winced, "No."

"Did you know Josh was going to?"

"No. I didn't know how involved he was with Vogel."

"Coster's meth?"

Her smiled faded, "I swapped it with some flour. Josh..." She sighed. "He's dead, so it would be a dick move to blame him. I didn't know what exactly he was up to. I knew he was up to something and then I...stayed with him because I realized it would be huge if I uncovered it myself. I thought I could, but then he hooked me in, so I'd go down with him if I tried. I thought it would blow over. I thought a lot of shit. Vogel orchestrated everything to crumble. I thought I could get away with killing Josh and I thought it would make everything stop spiralling out of control. How stupid was that? I knew you guys would get Ryan off."

"Why didn't you tell me? I would have helped you." She then reached up and carefully touched Sam's cheek.

"I would've called you after I killed Josh, but...you were drunk on your couch." She chuckled, but then started crying again.

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. I could've called anyone. I could've done a lot of things...could've tried harder to stop Ryan...could've not thought I could be some sort of fucking hero. I could've fucking...not killed my douchebag boyfriend..."

Natalia really was sorry. She was right though, sorry didn't cut it. Natalia exhaled loudly and then said, "One time I forgot to lock evidence lockup and another time I-."

Sam smiled and wiped her eyes, interrupting her, "Why are you trying to make me laugh? Everything is shit, just let me feel like shit for a minute." 

"Ok, you fucked up."

She laughed again, "I know. I thought I could handle it. I wanted to be a super-cop, figuring out everything on my own, busting Vogel, bringing down the hot, young ASA. I kept thinking my dating him was like me being undercover. Everything got so messed up so fast." She tried to turn away again, but Natalia nudged her face back. She smiled again just a little as Natalia delicately wiped away a tear on her cheek, avoiding all of the cuts. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to involve you in case everything went south. Maybe I used Ryan...yeah, but not you."

"I would have helped you, Sam. Ryan would have helped you. Everyone would have helped you if you had just told us the truth."

"I was fucked when I took the meth and you know it. I would have had to admit to it. I knew it was on his fucking boat too." She sighed, "I didn't want to drag you down and I didn't want to complicate your life. Josh is dead, Vogel's dead...I'm taking the fall for everything. Like you said, there's no one to testify against me...or for me now either."

"You could use me for an alibi. You were with me last night."

She scoffed, "You don't mean that. I left to go kill my boyfriend and you know it." She said the words with no emotion at all, "Albeit I didn't plan on killing him until after I'd already done it."

"You could have said you were trying to protect Ryan or that it was self-defense."

"Stop it, Natalia. I kill him because he was an ass." Sam reached up with her arm that wasn't cuffed and she covered Natalia's hand with it. She turned her head and kissed her wrist then winced again. "It's done. I'm done. I confessed to Ryan. You turned against me the first chance you got and rightfully so."

"It was a mistake."

"It wasn't. You were right. I also do have bad taste in men."

Natalia looked at her watch. "I have to go." She stood up and Sam still held onto her hand. After a quick glance behind her toward the door, she leaned forward and kissed the corner of Sam's mouth before picking up her shield and the bracelet. She held up the latter, "Do you want me to take this? Give it back to him or something?"

"Then he'll know you were here."

She shrugged and Sam nodded to the best of her ability. 

When Natalia reached the door, Sam asked, "Will you come back and see me?"

"Maybe," she said quietly without turning. As soon as she rounded the corner she sat Horatio standing just to the side of the door. She greeted him, "H."

"You shouldn't have been talking to her, Natalia," he said to her monotonously and looked at her with no emotion.

"I know," she admitted and started to move by him.

"Natalia," he said. "We all use each other. Every person serves some purpose to everyone else in their lives. Sometimes lines are crossed and this is what causes problems." As he said the last word, he put on his sunglasses and walked away.

 

The End


End file.
